I'm excited to feature my first Paving Project story, "Calling On Cupid". This modern love story was written by a guest blogger, "Allie" about her journey to finding love. I hope her story inspires you to pursue love too, and to perhaps submit your own paved journey! Happy reading!
*Disclaimer: Some names and identifying details have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals.
Ding! As a twenty-something, Midwestern, millennial lady, I take my notifications pretty seriously. Little did I know that joining a dating site and a “match” notification would lead me to finding my greatest adventure yet.
Approximately four months before this notification, I was facing the biggest heartbreak of my life. My college boyfriend of four and a half years broke up with me - over the phone the day before I started my first “big girl job” as I was preparing for my friend’s funeral. Did I mention it was also my Grandma’s birthday? Oof. I felt sucker-punched, breathless but also as if a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders - deep down, I knew it wasn’t a good fit. If I could handle this devastating disappointment, then I could handle anything.
I waited a little while before deciding that I was ready to date again. I had heard about online dating but was concerned about all the stigmas associated with it. I did my research and considered all of the popular sites. Tinder? I felt shallow swiping right and left without learning too much about the person. eHarmony or Match.com? I just graduated college and wanted to put my money towards my student loans, not premium memberships. FarmersOnly? I’m from a small, rural town and was worried that I might see my farmer uncle on there, lol.
I finally settled on OKCupid figuring that if anyone could help me, a winged baby in a diaper seemed like my best bet. I was on the site for about a month before I matched with the man who would turn my life upside down, not once but twice.
Because I had been in a serious relationship before and had my heart shattered, the concept of soulmates had been lost on me. But, destiny was something I could get behind. If I’m remembering correctly (and forgive me if I am a little hazy on details - it’s been three years since the fateful notification), John* (JMB725*) and I first matched when I was in a town thirty minutes away from my hometown. JMB725 showed up in the “people near you” section of the website when I was browsing due to boredom. If I had stayed home that night, if I had not opened the app, if I had ignored that notification, John and I may have never met.
John likes to say I was interested first (and I might have been), but he was the one to message me first, so you tell me. He was very interested in learning my real name, not Spoken4Sassafras* but I was a little wary of letting him in. His username was straight and to the point (his initials and a random number), whereas I hid behind a moniker that let him know I was sassy and fun. I think it took me a week or two before I told him my real name, oops. John never pressured me to reveal information that I was uncomfortable telling a random stranger. Instead, he joked around and made small talk. I loved his corny jokes and his ability to make me smile just by seeing a notification from him on my phone.
John asked me out every week for eight weeks, never giving up the pursuit. At first, I was afraid to meet him because I had just seen the Lifetime movie “The Craigslist Killer.” Later, I realized that I was afraid to meet him because I could feel in my heart that this was the real deal and I was terrified of getting hurt again. I’d give him excuses like “I have plans with my family that day” or “my sock drawer needs to be reorganized.” He’d come back smoother than ever, writing “please honor me with your presence this weekend.” Still, I was unsure.
We decided to talk on the phone, so he could prove he was a normal person. He got off work at 10:00 p.m. and I couldn’t wait to hear his voice. Finally, it was 10:00 and my phone rang.
“Hello, Allie,” a smooth, deep voice said calmly on the other end of the phone. I don’t know if love at first sound is a thing, but I think it might be. We talked for a few minutes before we ran out of things to say. John, not wanting me to hang up, looked around his living room and saw a flash drive in a wood case. “How do you feel about wood?” he blurted out.
“Wood?” I asked, confused. “Yeah,” he said. “Are you more of an oak girl or a cherry girl?” I laughed audibly and continued the conversation, discussing our stances on various types of wood. We talked for hours and after I felt comfortable, I finally agreed to meet him, choosing a neutral pizza place near my house.
I’d love to tell you that our first meeting was a success and we hit it off romantically right away, but that would be a lie. The day of that first meeting, John was late and groggy from celebrating a friend’s birthday the night before. I was anxiously waiting on a bench, talking to my mother on the phone in case he turned out to be a murderer and she’d have to call 911. We ended up talking at that restaurant for over three hours, laughing over alfredo pizza and talking about our families and interests. He found it adorable that I could identify any song on the radio and tell him who sang it and approximately what year it came out. We hugged and went our separate ways.
I felt like he was more of a friend and told him that a few days later. Like most adult friendships, we drifted apart. John said he couldn’t bear seeing me date other guys, as he felt we should try dating. I was scared of getting hurt by someone I cared so deeply for, so I dated a mutual friend of a friend to avoid having my heart broken. Thankfully, this is not the end of the story.
Three months later, I was single again and decided to give OKCupid another try. I kept finding myself visiting John’s profile, and then he would visit mine - kind of like a profile tag. Finally, John messaged me and wanted to talk. Again, I waited until 10:00 p.m. to hear his voice after work. When the phone rang and I heard his voice, my heart soared. We apologized for the distance between us, the fears that surrounded us, and the pride that kept us from finding our way back to each other sooner. John and I talked until 2:00 a.m. He sat in his car in his work parking lot, not wanting to hang up and risk losing what we had again. We agreed to give it another shot and promised we would be 110% in this time. I had a family vacation coming up, so we set a date for the Saturday after I returned.
That vacation, while fun, was the longest week of my life. I couldn’t wait to get home and see John. I texted him the entire time, telling him all about my adventures and sending pictures. I’d listen to love songs on the drive home that reminded me of him. I got home the Thursday before our date and could not wait to see John. We had agreed to a showing of “Baby Driver” at a local movie theater. John went shopping for clothes the Friday before, eager to impress me. He later told me that was the first time in ten years he went out and bought clothes.
FINALLY, Saturday, July 22nd, 2017 had arrived. John texted me every hour on the hour, counting down. “Twelve more hours!” Another hour would pass, “Eleven hours until we meet again.” And this continued the entire day. I got dressed, slipping on a black tank dress - it was one of the hottest days that summer and I wanted to look my best without melting away. As I did my hair and makeup, I listened to love songs like Darius Rucker’s “History in the Making.” Little did I know that this song would be an anthem for that day.
The lyrics rushed through my veins:
“This could be one of those memories we wanna hold on to, cling to,
The one we can't forget. Baby, this could be our last first kiss.
The thought of forever, What if this was that moment?
That chance worth takin'. History in the makin'.”
I drove as fast as I (legally) could to meet John at the movies. I remember parking and rushing out the door as the theater speakers blasted the “Jurassic Park” theme overhead. I practically ran into the theater (John would later tell me that he watched me rush across the parking lot).
When I reached the theater lobby, I looked up and there was John. Everyone else faded away into a blur and all I could see clearly in that moment was him. It was always him. He nervously took a swig out of his beer, dressed in his new black dress shirt and khakis, before he wrapped me up in a hug that was worth waiting for. We settled into a table near the bar and got another round of drinks, giddy and giggly. We didn’t say much, just stared at each other smiling. We couldn’t believe that this was finally our moment.
After that Saturday night at the movies, we became inseparable. Even though John lived about an hour away from me, he always made time to come see me and never complained about the drive. John became my protector, my best friend, and my biggest cheerleader. As we grew in our relationship, we began to notice certain things that we had in common. John and I were both born on the 8th day of our birthday month. His mom worked with one of my college classmates and he had fixed my classmate’s car once. John was a distant cousin of one of my sorority sisters. All of these little coincidences helped me strengthen my belief that this was fate.
I can’t pinpoint the exact moment that I knew I loved John, but I’ll try. One day at work, my phone dinged that I had a message notification from John. I remember that I was standing in the doorway of my office and my face lit up and I felt butterflies in my stomach. This was the love that I had always been looking for. This is the love that has allowed John and me to weather life’s storms and come out stronger than ever.
If you are looking for love, the best advice that I can give is do not be afraid. Be brave and courageous. When you meet the right person, it won’t matter how you met. All that matters is that you have found someone who sees you for the amazing person that you are and someone who is ready to grow with you and because of you. Best of luck. Here’s to love, laughter, and happily ever after!